Time to Write Now By Julaina Kleist-Corwin

About Writing Plus

Lilli's Talk and Thoughts


I’m Lilli, one of the antagonists in HADA’S FOG.  Of course, I don’t think I’m an antagonist, but I know I caused a lot of trouble for the Zuckerman family–life and death trouble. I’m fifteen and I want to figure out how to be a better person. You can check how I’m doing on this page and since I’m often an outcast, I’d really like comments from you. I’ll even let you take some peeks at my diary, read my texts, and maybe listen in on my cell phone. I have to get it together before Julaina finishes my story. She calls it a young adult novel. She promised that I’ll be the protagonist this time. That means I have to be good.

Present Thoughts about the Past

The only thing worse than high school is middle school. I didn’t fit in with the cute girls clique. Godiva, my mother, said it was because I was prettier than they were so they wouldn’t include me. I skipped third grade, but I didn’t fit in with the nerds either. I don’t have to study much to pass tests and I like to have fun. They didn’t. I’m sort of athletic, but I don’t care much for team sports.  I love music but don’t want to play an instrument and the band kids thought I was too weird. Anyway,  not much  changed for me in social groups, except when I became a junior, at least the senior boys liked me. And I sure liked older guys. Still do. Godiva said I shouldn’t get a reputation with them. If I wasn’t careful, I’d end up like her. That’s not going to happen because my father said I’d be a terrific actress. I was practicing for a movie career when I got into all that trouble. But, more about that later.

Present Texts

Lilli texts:  Stacey, u’ll get +. BTW I’ve been called worse names n brat. Ur mama’s cool.

Lilli texts:  Fun I am L. Winfred, from yr Lady Lilli. So kind of u 2 stop by.

Email to Sheri

Hi Sheri,  Thanks for reading about me. Julaina says you have a cute dog, two dogs. I like animals. But I don’t agree with what I’ve read that animals live in the now. People who say that haven’t really looked into the eyes of a dog or cat. If the animal had a hard life, it shows in their eyes. Their suffering is there. It’s the past coming through.

When I was on the streets in Oakland (oops, Julaina doesn’t want me to talk about those times…spoils the plot of my story. Who cares?) Anyway, when I was on the streets making my rounds, I had dog and cat friends (they make better friends than people do). They remembered me every time. If they only lived in the now, they wouldn’t have memories of me petting them and talking to them. I could tell they knew me deep down, you know what I mean?  Like they saw the suffering in my eyes, they understand what the past is, mine and theirs.

And the future, they worry about the future like when their tummies growl, they wonder when they’ll be fed. What about when they’re tied up outside a restaurant while their owners are inside gorging themselves and the dog is all nervous and howling and wondering why they’re left alone in a strange place and when the one they love will come back. They’re scared, like I was.

Anyway, I wish I had a dog, or a cat, or a bird, or a monkey, or ……..

Email to J.K. Royce

Hi J.K.,

Julaina told me to read your novel, PILZ, so I did. I’m interested in addictions because my mother, Godiva, is an alcoholic. She took prescription drugs for a while but every time I found ’em, I made sure they went down the toilet.  She couldn’t get anymore.


My mother’s doctor wasn’t like the doctors in J.K. Royce’s PILZ.  I guess she didn’t know how to find ‘em. She’s not too clever, couldn’t graduate from high school and the alcohol is not only rotting her liver, it’s getting to her brain. My smart genes came from my father, but he’s a real piece of work too. Wait ‘till you read what he did when I got in trouble.

In high school, I drank too much, but not enough to get addicted. Abe, Hada’s younger son, made sure of that. He helped me more than anyone in my whole life ever did. But, you can read all that in HADA’S FOG. Julaina finished her query letter and has a list of agents to contact. Maybe she’ll finally get it published. I hope you don’t hate me too much when you read the novel. Out of all the people who read the drafts, only one person (Rebecca) liked me. That gives you an idea how bad I was. Abe’s the favorite. Everyone likes Abe.

I think J. K. Royce likes me so that makes two friends I have besides Esther, Hada’s granddaughter.  I’ve learned that friends are important.

Email to J.K. Royce

Hey, J.K.

I forgot to tell you what I’ve been reading about addictions. I found Dr. Pillai’s website and signed up for his daily messages. He talked about addictions the day I found him. He said addiction “has a time component” because it holds on to an old moment that’s been repeated in the past so it’s done again and again. He scared me when he said, “The addictions may change from one thing to another, but the addiction remains.” I think that means  I am an addict after all. I gave up alcohol, but I’m having a real hard time giving up the other addiction I have, the one that started my passion for acting. Or, maybe my passion for acting started the other addiction. But, Julaina won’t let me tell you any more about it. Spoils the plots. Do you think a person goes from one addiction to another when they stop one?

Anyway, J.K. Royce, I hope PILZ made a hit on Kindle over the weekend. Can’t beat a book for free, specially yours that’s worth a hella lot more than I paid on Amazon. I think I’ll read it again.

Your friend,



Hi again, Lilli. I was so happy to hear from you. You asked if I thought a person goes from one addiction to another. I’m not an addiction expert, but I think that many people who suffer from one addiction are susceptible to others. There is even a term for it: it’s called an addictive personality. As I understand it, it means that the person easily becomes addicted to pleasurable things to help them cope with serious emotional problems or pressure or stress. The addiction can be alcohol, drugs, food, sex – well you get the point. You’ve faced some serious challenges in your young life, so maybe you are looking for ways to deal with them. I hope you find someone who can help you understand that you aren’t weird or bad, you are unique and special. Maybe when you really believe that, you won’t need to look for destructive ways to cope. Keep me posted, and I’m always here if you need to talk.

Cell Phone Call to Godiva

Lilli:  Ma? Ma! I know you picked up.

Godiva:  mmmmm?

Lilli: Can you hear me?

Godiva: Lilli?

Lilli: Yes, Ma, it’s me, Lilli,

Godiva: Youokay?

Lilli: I’m fine. I have a friend.

Godiva: What?

Lilli: I have a new friend….on email. She’s an author.

Godiva: mmmm

Lilli: She wrote a book about drugs.

Godiva: Drugs?

Lilli: Yeah. J.K. Royce. The book is PILZ on Amazon.

Godiva: Amazon? That’stoofar.

Lilli:  Never mind, Ma. You’re wasted. Later.



September 11, 2013

OMG!  Julaina is going to give me my own blog. She said when I had more than a couple followers, I could have my own. I do, I do have followers, I think. There’s my friend, J.K. Royce, and Sheri, Lady Winfred, and Stacey, oh, and P. C. Chinick too. Sooo, that means I follow their blogs. I know J.K.’s is about Europe and PILZ. I want to read Sheri’s posts about her dog. Stacey cracks me up. I don’t think Lady Winfred has a blog yet. And P.C. Chinick, I love historical novels.  I can’t wait to read hers. Julaina says she writes about her protagonist’s parents.

I have enough. I have more than a couple. OMG!

I have to think of a picture for my About Me page. Father took all my movie interview photos. He’s such a f______ b______. Julaina says I can’t swear so I better not say what I think of him. He took everything, the photos, the cameras, my laptop, my money, my suitcase, the car, even the food, the f_______ food.  And then locked the door to the house! I had to break in to get my clothes. What kind of a father does that? He fought Ma for custody and then he leaves, leaves me to go back to her?  But I didn’t, no, not that liquor infested hellhole. Homeless on Oakland’s streets was better…almost.

I have to forget about all that. It’s over.  Esther will take a picture of me for my blog with my cell phone. I’m going to look at the WordPress themes. I can choose my own. OMG!

Email to J.K. Royce

Hey, J.K., my friend,

Not to worry about me. I have a home now and food. I can’t tell you where I am for two reasons. It would spoil my story, the YA novel Julaina is writing.  If you knew where I am, you’d know the end before the beginning.  AND, I don’t want Samuel, the other antagonist from HADA’S FOG, to know where I am. He got violent in my book. I’m safe as long as he doesn’t know.

What a great friend you are to be concerned about me. Wow, besides Esther (who is two years younger than me and my dearest friend), I’ve never had a friend like you.

Julaina is working on my very own blog so maybe we can communicate there next week. She’s having technical trouble. I picked the pictures already. We found one of a lily in Oakland. We hope you’ll like it.

Bye for now.


Email to Gary

Hi Gary,

Nice of you to follow me. I asked Julaina who you are and she said you like to write Sci-Fi and paranormal. I”m gonna like reading your stories.  She’s having WordPress problems with my blog, but in the meantime you can take a look at what we’ve done so far at lilliyanovel.wordpress.com I picked out the lily with the Oakland background. But WordPress keeps thinking I’m Julaina. Ya know it’s just hard to become famous. I didn’t make it as an actress and now I can’t even be famous for my own blog. Guess she’ll figure it out.

Later, Gary

Email to Sheri

Good Evening, Mrs. Sheri de Grom,

I’m trying to be more sophisticated.  I think Good Evening sounds like I’m mature and well-bred. (Well-bred I’m not but I can pretend I am.) Anyway, I like that you told me about your dog. As soon as Julaina gets me set up with my own blog, I’ll read and follow yours. If you see Gary’s email I just wrote, you can preview how far we got and you’ll know she’s having trouble with it. She’s teaching her classes tomorrow so it’s not going to happen for another couple days. It’s hard to wait for something you really, really want. I’ve always had to wait for everything.  I wish I could give your dogs a hug right now. They’d make me feel better.

Sincerely, (does that sound mature too?)

Lilli (I don’t like my last name so I won’t do the formal thing there.)


I ‘spose I should meditate on impatience. I pushed to be a great actress and forgot I was acting. I pushed to have Samuel and that got both of us in so much trouble. I pushed to make Hada like me and I almost killed her by accident. I just wanted her to include me in her family, but she hated me.  I won’t push Julaina for the blog or she might change her mind. I can have patience if I try.